1.Who Said We're Wack
(Spoken) Hey yo, check this out.
I was just at the club right,
heard these two dudes talking,
one of them said to the other one,
that they knew someone,
who said you guys are wack!
(Who said we're wack？)
You said we're wack？
You take it back!
(Who said we're wack？)
You talkin' smack？
You gonna get smacked.
(You're sayin' that we're wack but it just ain't so.)
Someone said we're wack!
Why would they say that？
I don't think we're wack.
Who said we're wack？
Who said we're wack？
I can't believe that.
They must be smoking crack,
To say that we're wack.
Say that we're wack？
You'll probably get smacked.
If you say we're wack.
Did you say we're wack？
(Who said we're wack？)
I'll paint your eye black,
Once I check my facts.
(Who said we're wack？)
How could a person up and call a person wack？
How could the devil turn the blue sky black？
How many babies born will ever reach their dreams？
And how could a person call another person wack？
Heard a rumor, that someone said we're wack.
I think that it's wack, to call someone wack.
I am not wack, no matter what you say,
What did you say？ Did you say I'm wack？
All the ladies in the house put your hands up!
All the fellas in the house put your hands up!
Now whoever said we're wack put your hand up!
Now everyone else put your hands down!
(Spoken) Oh, there he is, there he is.
2.Santana DVX (Feat. E-40)
What is that, Cristal？
No!
Dom P？
Hell no! This is that Carlos Santana champagne!
Oh shit, Santana DVX？ That's my joint!
Mine too but a lot of these busters don't know about it.
Well, let's tell these motherfuckers!
As a kid, I used to lay awake and think
When was Santana gonna make a drink？
But now I'm all grown and my dream came true
Santana champagne, from him to you
From the heart of Napa Valley and the guitar king
Comes the sparkling wine to make a blind man sing
Yo it's the champagne, from the man with the bandana
I can't stand a flute with anything but Santana
What's the first name of champ？ Tt's Carlos
And to that man, I propose a toast
In the sixties he had lots of freebie sex
Now he's gettin down with the DVX
Excuse me, fellas, am I to understand
that Carlos Santana has made a champagne？
That's right, motherfucker! Here, try it.
Alright. Awwwwwwwwww shit!
I feel alive for the first time
Each sip hits my lips like a landmine
Without Carlos in my life, I was living a lie
He makes his guitar weep, but his champagne cry
He's a southwest, tie wearing bolo champ
Comin' straight out the box with a bowl o'champ
Yo he's a beast with the sugar and yeast
Mixed in a pot
Like the way his releases mix jazz, blues, and pop
And the source of fusion
He's lady's shoe producin'
Plus he teamed with Rob Thomas for a music revolution
On the seventh day it's been said God rests
But on the eighth day he made the DVX!
Gentlemen, gentlemen what is all the hub-bub about？
Carlos Santana？!
That's right, I see you bitches is enjoying my sparkling wine.
We certainly are.
Well be careful because this shit will get you fucked up!
(Bitch!)
I'm like no other, one of a kind, my sparkling wine
Santana DVX make you wanna have sex
I'm rich bitch, I'm having my chips
Get laid all the time, by seventies chicks
Won hella Grammys, bitches throw me their panties
I'm probably your daddy, I probably nutted in your mammy
I'm a Bay boy, city life, been around the corner
Try to play me foul and my vipers gon' run up on ya
A legend, a boss, that's what I are
Accidental pimp, trying to be killin' the guitar
Not young enough to know better, but young enough to not care
I get actin', might slap a bitch with my hair
Left coast, up top, I bang that shit
My sparkling wine'll pop Cristal on her lip
Can't stop, won't stop getting my bread
Packed arenas and coliseums, now watch me shred
Oh Carlos Santana!
A monkey drank a bottle and learned to speak
A squid drank a bottle and became a freak
A lion drank a bottle and forgot how to growl
A horse drank a bottle, and fucked a cow
3.Jizz In My Pants
Lock eyes from across the room
down my drink while the rhythms boom
take your hand and skip the names
no need here for the silly games
make our way through the smoke and crowd
the club is the sky and I'm on your cloud
move in close as the lasers fly
our bodies touch and the angels cry
leave this place go back to yours
our lips first touch outside your doors
a whole night what we've got in store
whisper in my ear that you want some more and I
JIZZ IN MY PANTS
This really never happens you can take my word
I won't apoligise, that's just absurd
Mainly your fault from the way that you dance and now I
JIZZ IN MY PANTS
don't tell your friends or I'll say your a slut
plus its your fault, you were rubbing my butt
I'm very sensitive, some would say thats a plus
Now I'll go home and change
(JORMA) I need a few things from the grocery
do things alone now mostly
left me heart broken not lookin' for love
surprised in my eyes when I looked above
the check out counter and I saw a face
My heart stood still so did time and space
Never felt that I could feel real again
But the look in her eyes said I need a friend
She turned to me thats when she said it
Looked me dead in the face, asked 'Cash or Credit？' and I
JIZZED IN MY PANTS
It's perfectly normal, nothing wrong with me
But we're going to need a clean up on aisle 3
And now I'm posed in an awkward stance because I
JIZZED IN MY PANTS
To be fair you were flirting a lot
plus the way you bag cans got me bothered and hot
please stop acting like you're not impressed
One more thing, I'm gonna play by cheque
Last week - I saw a film
As I recall it was a horror film
Walked outside into the rain
Checked my phone and saw you rang and I
JIZZED IN MY PANTS
(JORMA)Speeding down the street when the red lights flash
need to get away need to make a dash
A song comes on that reminds me of you and I
JIZZ IN MY PANTS
(ANDY) The next day my alarm goes off and I
JIZZ IN MY PANTS
Open my window and a breeze rolls in and I
JIZZ IN MY PANTS
When Bruce Willis was dead at the end of sixth sense I
JIZZED IN MY PANTS
I just ate a grape and I
JIZZED...IN...MY PANTS
JIZZED...IN...MY PANTS
Ok seriously you guys can we...ok...
I JIZZ RIGHT IN MY PANTS EVERY TIME YOU'RE NEXT TO ME
AND WHEN WE'RE HOLDING HANDS ITS LIKE HAVING SEX TO ME
YOU SAY IM PREMATURE I JUST CALL IT ECSTASY
I WEAR A RUBBER AT ALL TIMES ITS A NECESSITY Cuz I
JIZZ...IN...MY PANTS
(I jizz in my pants, I jizz in my pants, yes I jizz in my pants,
yes I jizz in my pants)
yes I JIZZ...IN...MY PANTS
(I jizz in my pants (AKIVA!), I jizz in my pants)
4.I'm On A Boat (Feat. T-Pain)
Aww shit
Get your towels ready it？s about to go down
Everybody in the place hit the fuckin deck
But stay on your mother fuckin toes
We runnin this lets go
I'm on a boat
I'm on a boat
Everybody look at me cuz I'm sailin on a boat
I'm on a boat
I'm on a boat
Take a good hard look at the mother fuckin boat
I'm on a boat
Mother fucka take a look at me
Straight flowin on a boat on the deep blue sea
Bustin five knots, wind whippin out my coat
You can't stop me mother fucka cause I'm on a boat
Take a picture, trick
I'm on a boat, bitch
We drinking Santana champ,
Cuz it's so crisp
I got my swim trunks
And my flippie-floppies
I'm flipping burgers, you at Kinko's
Straight flipping copies
I'm ridin on a dolphin, doing flips and shit
The dolphin's splashing, getting everybody all wet
But this ain't Seaworld, this is real as it gets
I'm on a boat, mother fucka, don't you ever forget
I'm on a boat and
It's going fast and
I got a nautical themed
pashmina afghan
I'm the king of the world
On a boat like Leo
If you're on the shore,
then you're sure not me-oh
Get the fuck up, this boat is REAL!!!
Fuck land, I'm on a boat, mother fucka
Fuck trees, I climb buoys, mother fucka
I'm on the deck with my boys, mother fucka
This boat engine make noise, mother fucka
Hey ma, if you could see me now
Arms spread wide on the starboard bow
Gonna fly this boat to the moon somehow
Like Kevin Garnett, anything is possible
Yeah, never thought I'd be on a boat
It's a big blue watery road
Poseidon
Look at me, oh
Never thought I'd see the day
When a big boat coming my way
Believe me when I say
I fucked a mermaid
I'm on a boat
I'm on a boat
Everybody look at me cuz I'm sailing on a boat
I'm on a boat
I'm on a boat
Take a good hard look at the mothafuckin' boat
sha-sha-shorty, shorty, yeah
5.Sax Man (Feat. Jack Black)
Wellllll he was the Sax Man from the state of Tennessee
First set in with the band at the ripe old age of three - we
told
And when he blew into that horn all the people gathered 'round
Club manager jumped right up and said 'Boy I gotta have that
sound!'
Scream 'Hallelujah Lord!', I said the Sax Man's got my soul
Everybody gotta move their feet, when the Sax Man started to
blow
Now blow it Sax Man!
Mmmmmm'kay he's a little shy, but his genius cannot hide
Cause when the Sax Man starts to win he gonna take you on a ride
Take it Sax Man!
Ow! Take it Sax Man!
Okay he'll be right with you folks!
All right, Sax Man, that's my fault, I put you on the spot
But now you're all warmed up and this-a next one's gonna be hot
Kick it Sax Man! (C'mon!)
(What the fuck are you doing!!)
Haha, okay! Why don't we have a little inspiration now
You know this game, Sax Man!
Repeat after me
Here we go, and..
Shibbidy bop bop, buda bop bah
Dip dip di-dip, dip dip di-dip dip
Arrip da di-dip, bop ba-doo-doo day-day
Fuckin play somethin Sax Man!
Okay, movin on!
Sax Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan~!
Sax Man!
6.Lazy Sunday (Feat. Chris Parnell)
Lazy Sunday, wake up in the late afternoon.
Call Parnell just to see how he's doin'.
Hello' What up, Parns'
Yo Samberg, what's crackin''
You thinking what I'm thinkin'
NARNIA. Man, it's happenin'.
But first my hunger pains are stickin' like duct tape.
Let's hit up Magnolia and mack on some cupcakes.
No doubt that bakery's got all da bomb frostins.
I love those cupcakes like McAdams loves Gosling.
Two, no six, no twelve, BAKERS DOZEN.
I told you that I'm crazy for these cupcakes, cousin.
Yo, where's the movie playin''
Upper west side, dude.
Well, let's hit up Yahoo Maps to find the dopest route.
I prefer Map Quest.
That's a good one, too.
Google Maps is the best.
True that.
DOUBLE TRUE.
68th and Broadway.
Step on it, sucka.
What you wanna do, Chris'
SNACK ATTACK, MOTHERF＊＊＊
It's the Chronic (what')
Cles of Narnia
Yes, the Chronic (what')
Cles of Narnia
We love that Chronic (what')
Cles of Narnia
Pass that Chronic (what')
Cles of Narnia
Yo, stop at the deli.
The theater's over-priced.
You've got the backpack'
Gonna pack it up nice.
Don't want security to get suspicious.
Mr. Pibb and Red Vines equals CRAZY DELICIOUS!
I'll reach in my pocket, pull out some dough.
Girl actin' like she never seen a $10 before.
It's all about the Hamiltons, baby.
Throw the snacks in a bag and I'm ghost like Swayze.
Roll up to the theater.
Ticket buying, what we're handlin'.
You can call us Aaron Burr.
From the way we're droppin' Hamiltons.
Now parked in our seats.
Movie trivias the illest.
Which Friends alum starred in films with Bruce Willis'
We answered so fast it was scary scary.
Everyone stared in awe when we screamed Matthew Perry.
Now quiet in the theater or it's gonna get tragic.
We're bout to get taken to a dream world of magic with'
the Chronic (what')
Cles of Narnia
Yes, the Chronic (what')
Cles of Narnia
We love that Chronic (what')
Cles of Narnia
Pass that Chronic (what')
Cles of Narnia
7.Normal Guy (Interlude)
8.Boombox (Feat. Julian Casablancas)
Imagine in your mind a posh country club
The stuffy old money where the poor kid's snubbed
The spread is bland sauerkraut and boiled goose
There's no way these people will ever cut loose
But then I walk in the room, hold my boombox high
And what happened next, will blow your mind
Everything got outta control
The music was so entrancing
Everyone got out on the floor
It was a bunch of old white people dancing
Now picture if you will a bunch of business men
Stuffed in the boardroom like pigs in a pen
The ties around the necks are like a hangman's noose
In the middle of the table theres a boiled goose
The old people smell makes you want to puke in the sink
These dudes will never dance yeah that's what you think
I stride in the room all young and hip
Hold up my boombox and say listen to this
Then everyone started to move
People rejoiced instead of financing
Your preconceived notions were shattered
By the super old white people dancing
The big apple, where people never dance
Spirits go down while profits expand
The cops or the dealers, who's got the juice
The street benders peddling their boiled goose
So many types of people will never get along
Till I bust out my boombox and play this song
The music washed away all the hate
And society started advancing
Every demographic was represented
It was a rainbow coalition of dancing
Whoa !
Everyone was wearing fingerless gloves
Whoaaaaaoaaaaaoh !
I saw a spanish guy doing the Bartman
Transport now to an old folks home
Where the elderly are tossed on their brittle bones
The orderlies are stealing there's no excuse
Everyday for lunch they eat boiled goose
So I grabbed my boombox and hit the turbo base
And what happened next was a total disgrace
Everybody started having sex
The music was way too powerful
A bunch of old people fucking like rabbits
It was disgusting to say the least
Oh!
A boombox can change the world
You gotta know your limits with a boombox
This was a cautionary tale
A boombox is not a toy
9.Shrooms (Interlude)
10.Like A Boss
Mr. Samberg, thanks for coming to your performance review.
No problem.
So you're in charge around here, is that fair to say？
Absolutely, I'm the boss.
Ok, so take us through the day in the life of a boss.
Well the first thing I do is...
Talk to Corporate (Like a boss)
Approve memos (Like a boss)
Lead a workshop (Like a boss)
Remember birthdays (Like a boss)
Direct work flow (Like a boss)
My own bathroom (Like a boss)
Micromanage (Like a boss)
Promote synergy (Like a boss)
Hit on Deborah (Like a boss)
Get rejected (Like a boss)
Swallow sadness (Like a boss)
Send some faxes (Like a boss)
Call a sex line (Like a boss)
Cry deeply (Like a boss)
Demand a refund (Like a boss)
Eat a bagel (Like a boss)
Harassment lawsuit (Like a boss)
No promotion (Like a boss)
Fifth of vodka (Like a boss)
Shit on Deborah's desk (Like a boss)
Buy a gun (Like a boss)
In my mouth (Like a boss)
Oh, fuck me, I can't fucking do it, shit!
Pussy out (Like a boss)
Puke on Deborah's desk (Like a boss)
Jump out the window (Like a boss)
Suck a dude's dick (Like a boss)
Score some coke (Like a boss)
Crash my car (Like a boss)
Suck my own dick (Like a boss)
Eat some chicken strips (Like a boss)
Chop my balls off (Like a boss)
Black out in the sewer (Like a boss)
Meet a giant fish (Like a boss)
Fuck his brains out (Like a boss)
Turn into a jet (Like a boss)
Bomb the Russians (Like a boss)
Crash into the sun (Like a boss)
Now I'm dead (Like a boss)
...Uh-huh, so that's an average day for you then？
No doubt.
You chop your balls off and die？
Hell yeah!
And I think you said at one point there you suck your own dick？
Nope.
I'm pretty sure you did.
Nah, that ain't me.
Ok, well then this has been eye opening for me.
I'm the boss.
Yeah, no, I got that, you said it about 400 times.
I'm the boss.
Yeah, yeah, I got it.
I'm the boss.
No, I heard you, see you later!
Like a boss!
11.We Like Sportz
Hello？
Hi, do you wanna go to a party with me？
No. The game's on.
Oh, I almost forgot. I'll be right there.
We like sports, and we don't care who knows,
From shooting hoops to the Super Bowl.
We like sports, and we don't care who knows,
Football, football, football, tennis, hockey...
The game is starting, everyone is here,
I got my snacks, my friends, and a beer.
Just two normal guys, hanging out having fun,
Right guy number two？
Yeah, guy number one.
E, to the S, to the P, to the N,
Its all I watch, cause I'm the man,
If my team loses, I'll be mean all night,
If you tell me to relax, we'll get into a fight.
Watching sports with girls is a pain,
they don't know the rules, there's no time to explain.
Single, double, triple, home run,
for the celebration, I'll shoot my gun. (gunshot)
I like my friend, he's a real guy's guy,
he's not a loud mouth like that cunt-hole, Steve.
We like sports, and we don't care who knows.
From Wimbledon, to the Astrodome.
We like sports, and we don't care who knows.
Football, football, football, tennis, hockey...
Now when I say sports, you say nuts,
Sports, nuts
Sports, nuts
When I say cheating, you say sucks,
Cheating, sucks
Cheating, sucks
I drink whiskey, cause I like the taste,
You think it's bitter but I think it's great.
I also drink whiskey and we smoke cigars,
Don't believe me？ Smell our cars.
We're real men, and we like sports,
if you say that we're not, then we'll see you in court.
I'm team captain, and I choose you,
I'm the other team captain and I choose you too.
We steal the ball and we're off to the races,
then scare the other team with our mad dog faces, like
What？ What？ What？ What？ What, What？
What？ What？ What？ What？ What, What？
We like sports, and we don't care who knows.
From the pre-game jokes, to the wrap-up show,
We like sports, and we don't care who knows.
Football, football, football, tennis, hockey...
Throw me the baseball.
Now toss me the pigskin.
Now feed me the rock.
Now give me the rock.
12.Dreamgirl (Feat. Norah Jones)
(The following song is brought to you by Chex Mix)
Some dude once said that love is a many funny things
I know there's a perfect girl out there for me,
cuz I see her in my dreams
Dream girl, you're a fantasy, you're the only one
Out there for me
My love
Dream girl you amaze me all dressed in paisley
Love how not one but both eyes are lazy
When I first saw you you were drivin' the bus
Thick skin, strong nose like a rhinoceros
Dream girl so beautiful, lips all crumby
Skin like asphalt, nose so runny
Thick thighs, no waist, not a care in the world
You not crazy girl, you just my baby girl
If you envision in sweats with the neon patch
Half eaten squirrel hangin' outta your mouth
Rainbow poncho, the female tonto
Hear a loud noise drop a bucket like a bronco
Dream girl, you're a fantasy, you're the only one
Out there for me
My love
You got your cellphone ring set to Sex and the City
You like a hot bowl of gritz only way more gritty
Straight drippin' your turquoise my Santa Fe queen
One short leg you got the Santa Fe Lean
It's music to my ears when you scream in your sleep
And when you lift your skirt in public yo I can't help but peek
You like Cleopatra with the eyes of a pig
Love to watch you in the backer when you go out to dig
Girl how'd you get those mouse traps glued to your neck
Little rascal, how'd you get screwed to the deck？
You put away slurpees like a trash can
Your smiles all stainy and your not too brainy and
I like that!
Talking to your shoes lke it's your friend
I like that!
Yellin' at the walls of make pretend
I like that!
Tellin' you to stop it then you don't
You said you gonna stop it in my sleep
But you won't!
Last week thought I saw you on the straight turn that was a bag
of trash
Just a big ol' bag of trash
I thought you look like a bag of trash
Dream girl I pitch a tent when you stomp in the room
Like a hellbound turkey mixed with a baboon
Your sexy and your spicy like a bowl of Chex Mix
And I always feel safe when I'm in your flesh mitts
Your teeth so clean coulda swore you were British
Never take the Chex Mix cuz you always get skinnish
Open clamps with both feet cuz your ambidextrous
No point cuz we know you eat nothin' but Chex Mix
Chex Mix number one food snack in the land
It's the cereal taste that you eat with your hand
Chex Mix at your local grocer buy your box
Your family will all say
CHEX MIX ROCKS!
Chex Mix, your the snack for me, your the only one
I'll ever eat or buy
Chex Mix your delicious, you got 60% less fat than potato chips
13.Ras Trent
Jah! Rastafarianism
Yes I, Ras Trent
Ba-da ding-ding-ding-ding whooaaaaa!
Who dem？
You no want test me champion sound
Oh fire pon Babylon
and fire pon a batty boy
Rude boy living in the shanty dorms
My roommate Nick is an ignorant bald-head
Now chant down Babylon
midterm essays
Then puff from de chalice
I fi make from a Sprite can
Last week I read a book
about Selassie I
Then told my bomboclat parents
I was switching religions
Excuse I!
Oh hot stepper, you do so many dutty crimes
Nyabinghi!
And plus you're fully skylarking all the time
Unnu look ya now!
Have you ever noticed
how bald-heads suck？
Ba-da-da ding-ding-ding-ding
dong-dang ding-dong duck!
Excuse I for my skanking
give thanks and praise
Me toil part-time
at jah Cold Stone Creamery
In a dub style!
Roller skates...a DVD of Cool Runnings...
Murder, She Wrote
Yagga-yagga-yagga yowwww!
Are you there Jah？ It's me, Ras Trent
Are you there Jah？ It's me, Ras Trent
Are you there Jah？ It's me, Ras Trent
Please guide me (mumbles) pon your right path of righteousness
Oh stannaho, stannaho, stannaho, stannahoy Jaaaah!
Fussing and fighting and Zion and Roots
Red Stripe, Shabba, Ragamuffin culture
Me night nurse never want to plant de corn
Skiddily-whoa
Diddily, skiddily diddily diddily...
14.Dick In A Box (Feat. Justin Timberlake)
Hey girl, I got somethin' real important to give you
So just sit down and listen
Girl you know we've been together such a long, long time (such a
long time)
And now I'm ready to lay it on the line
(Wooow) You know it's Christmas and my heart is open wide (open
wide)
Gonna give you something so you know what's on my mind (what is
on my mind)
A gift real special, so take off the top
Take a look inside -- it's my dick in a box (it's in a box)
Not gonna get you a diamond ring
That sort of gift don't mean anything
Not gonna get you a fancy car
Girl ya gotta know you're my shining star
Not gonna get you a house in the hills
A girl like you needs somethin' real
Wanna get you somethin' from the heart
Somethin' special girl
It's my dick in a box, my dick in a box girl
It's my dick in a box, my dick in a box girl
See I'm wise enough to know when a gift needs givin' (girl)
And I got just the one, somethin' to show ya that you are second
to none
To all the fellas out there with ladies to impress
It's easy to do just follow these steps
1： Cut a hole in a box
2： Put your junk in that box
3： Make her open the box
And that's the way you do it
It's my dick in a box...my dick in a box girl
It's my dick in a box, my dick in a box girl
Christmas; dick in a box
Hanukkah; dick in a box
Kwanzaa; a dick in a box
Every single holiday a dick in a box
Over at your parent's house a dick in a box
Mid day at the grocery store a dick in a box
Backstage at the CMA's a dick in a box
(yeah-wow-wow-wow-wow-wow)
A dick in a box, a dick in a box, a dick in a box...
15.The Old Saloon (Interlude)
16.Punch You In The Jeans
These days a lot of cats is out of line
Seems to me like they need to get punched
Yeah but where you gonna punch 'em？
Yo, the choice is obvious
I'll punch you in the jeans
I'll punch you in the jeans
This is not a case of man vs machine
You think you were safe, thought you got away clean？
I'll roll up on you smooth and punch you in the jeans
I got my fist clenched, gonna throw a haymaker
Rockin' your slacks from here to Ja-maica
Shakin your boots cuz I'm the earthquaker
Bringin those jeans 'round here was a mistake-a
I got a vendetta
It's against your jeans
Gonna put my knuckles up against the seams
They can be on your legs or on the clothesline
But when I see the zipper and cloth it's go time!
I'm zeroed in, I got the tunnel vision
Gonna cover you in shit like a ton of pigeons
Man, I hate your jeans
I'm gonna bruise that denim
(It really doesn't matter as long as you're in em)
Yo we'll punch your jeans
We said it before
Best believe this is not a metaphor
Better watch your back cuz we're on the creep
And we won't stop til your jeans are six feet deep!
Man I'll murder your jeans
I'll feed em to the fishes
Here's what I'd do if I had three wishes
Punch your jeans on all three counts
It would bring me satisfaction in large amounts
Yo if I had three wishes I would do the same
We see eye to eye in this jean punch game
I'd lay em in a field where there's chemical sprayin
but I'd punch em first
Yo that goes without sayin'
Acid washed, pleats or a nifty cuff
It's just another jean for my first to stuff
Throwin fisticuffs eat pants like bag lunches
Jeans pronounced dead
Cause of death？
Hecka punchin'!
Yo we'll punch your jeans
We said it before
Best believe this is not a metaphor
You got something to say？
We got the proper retorts
Beat your jeans so bad that they'll wish they were shorts
Gonna revise your Levi's with physical harm
Put divets in the rivets with my physical arms
Gonna beat those jeans
Wanna dip em in slime
Turn your 501's into 499's
When I punch your jeans I like to imagine a face
The fly is the nose and the balls are the base of the face
You got taste and it shows, my man
Goddamn your jeans brand got me throwin' my hand
Gonna go back in time, find the man who made jeans
Then choke him to death, if you know what I mean
Yo I know what you mean so keep your jeans on the hush
And break out before you get bum-rushed
Yo we'll punch your jeans
We said it before
Best believe this is not a metaphor
So take off your jeans and reverse the curse
Cuz we're the best jean punchers in the universe
(It really doesn't matter as long as you're in 'em)
(It really doesn't matter as long as you're in 'em)
17.Space Olympics
Reach for the stars
Whoa, yeah..
You stand on a distant planet
Skyline of red plateaus
Strange air and vegetation
You're a winner
Welcome to the space olympics
The year 3022
Take part in a grand tradition
Your name that goes in the halls of the universe
Oh, yeah...
Believe in yourself
Take your game into outer space
Every single galatic athlete
Needs an ID coded badge
Drug tests are mandatory
You're a winner
The athlete's village is on Zargon
You all get a junior suite
We don't cover incidentals
So keep your ass out the mini-bar
You're the best in the world
Brace yourself cause there's no gravity
You're in the mother fuckin space olympics
Yeah..
You'll be known by every nation
You'll only get one meal a day
There was a bit of a budget snafu
And food funding is insufficient
We can't really enforce a curfew
As there is no light or sound
Just one of the many problems
with hosting a sporting event in space
'Attention all athletes. There are minor scheduling adjustments'
Space disc is totally cancelled
Space swords is totally cancelled
Space luge is also cancelled
And all other events are pending
Welcome to your space olympics
All the oxygen has run out
And someone who will not be named
Accidentally hit self-destruct
As you file to your escape pods
I'll distract the alien hoards
And as I stare death in the face
I know my sins will take me to hell
You do it for the love
My love
And there ain't no woman that can take your spot, my love
18.Natalie's Rap (Feat. Natalie Portman)
Chris：We're sitting here today with film star Natilalie Portman.
Natalie：Hello
Chris：So Natalie, tell us what a day in the life of Natalie
Portman is like？
Natalie：Do you really want to know？
Chris：Please tell us.
(Natalie ~Rap~) I don't sleep motherf＊cker off that Yak and the
durbin'
Doin' 120 getting' head while I'm swerving
(Seth： Damn Natalie, you a crazy chick.)
Yo, shut the fuck up and suck my dick.
I'm bustin' dudes valves like gushers motherf＊cker.
Pull up to NBC and smack the sh＊t outta Jeff Zucker.
What you want Natalie？ (To drink and fight!)
What you need Natalie？ (To f＊ck all night!)
Don't test me when I'm crazy off that airplane group
Put my foot down your throat til your sh＊t's in my shoe.
Leave you screamin, pay for my dry-cleaning
F＊ck your man it's my name that he's screamin？
Chris： I'm sorry Natalie,
are we to believe that you condone driving while intoxicated？
Natalie： I never said that I was a role model
Chris： But, what about the kids that look up to you,
do you have a message for them？
(Natalie ~Rap~) All the kids lookin up to me can suck my dick
It's Portman motherf＊cker, drink til I'm sick
Slit your throat and pour nitrous down the hole
Watch you laugh and cry
While I laugh, you die
And to all the dudes, you know I'm talking to you
(We love you Natalie!) I wanna f＊ck you too!
(Hey!) It's for Portman!
(Hey!) It's for p＊ssies!
I'll kill your f＊ckin dog for fun, so don't push me
Chris： Well Natalie, I'm surprised,
all this coming from a Harvard graduate？
Natalie： Well, there's a lot you may not know about me.
Chris： Really, such as？
(Natalie ~Bridge~) When I was in Harvard I smoked weed everyday
I cheated every test and snorted all the yay
I gotta def posse, you gotta lot of dudes
I sit right down on your face and take sh＊t
(Andy ~Refrain~) Natalie, you are a bad ass bitch (Hell Yeah!)
And I'll always pay for your dry-cleaning
When my sh＊t gets in your shoe (What!)
As for the drug use
Well I can't vouch for that
My dick is scared of you (Ooh)
Chris： Natalie, one final question,
if you could steal a smooch from any guy in Hollywood who would
it？
Natalie： No more questions.
(What!)
19.Incredibad
Now let's take a trip down memory lane
Back to junior high school where it all began
Three bad little kids raising hell at school
We were just thirteen straight acting the fool
Everyday after class Kiv's house was the spot
Making crazy prank calls hoping not to get caught
Best friends, blood brothers, yo we're one in the same
Till one faithful afternoon when everything changed
One day playing punch out up in Kiv's room
The house started shaking and we heard a kaboom
Looked out the back window saw a billowin' smoke
Yo, your backyard is smashed
Man, this isn't a joke
Yo, let's go check this out man
Oh, what was that'
Alright, bet, let's go
All the smoke and debris led straight to the basement
Yo, what the hell is that'
Man, it looks like a spaceship
We all ran for cover as the hatch opened wide
And a little green dude stepped out from inside
He said： I'm from Mars and I come in peace
I have something to ask and it's not discreet
There's a mutated strain in our DNA helix
And you three kids are the ones who can heal it
But we're just thirteen
Man, what can we do'
Um, how should I put this'
I think we should screw
Whaaat'
On my home planet we can no longer breed
I've been sent as a receptacle to store in your seed
Store in our seed'
Yo, I think he means sex
Man, I'm a virgin
We all are
Bet!
I'm just gonna lie here and close my eyes
Awh, what should we do'
Now it's spreading its thighs
You'll be heroes on my planet
But why us three'
You're the chosen ones
You'll just have to trust me
Yo, should we do it'
Man, I don't know
Yo, I say we put it to a vote
All in favor say I
I!
Okay, we're in
Cool
Who should go first'
I have three depositories to capture your burst
Wait, so at the same time'
Yeah, that's what I was thinking
Here's some wine coolers
Let's get you boys drinking
We pounded the drinks and started gettin' tipsy
Then took our positions and started getting' frisky
One in the front
And two in the back
Had it locked up like a Chinese finger trap
Keep pumpin' away
My wife and family thank you
I'm about to explode
Yo son, me too
Three-way Climax!
Best friends forever
What a blessing to have lost our virginities together!
Yeah!
Andy, Jorm and Kiv
You've saved my race
Your reward is one wish
Then I'll go back to space
We looked at each other
Didn't have to talk
Knew exactly what we wanted before it took off
Mister Alien, sir
For what it's worth
We want to be the greatest fake MCs on earth
Your wish is granted
And thanks again
I may have saved my planet but I'm loosing three friends
What happened today was both incredible and bad
Therefore your name is Incredibad
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