1.Abnegation
a grayish torch turns the way
to you and your ways
and I pull my hand through clouds
pull the moister down on me
down on you
tears of ice and snow
I'm buried by your storm
fill the cup with blood and wine
over me it is pored this time
return to fogging windows
gapes a hole deep in the road
elegant bastards run the roof tops
town falls, fire burns the walls
a fat head lies in the gutter
below me rises worms laughter
open wounds bleeds your tongue
ultra-violet rays from the sun
turn you down to mud again
winters snows come
hills appear between you and me
atop the sky I'm torn down by you
time to go away
one torn in two
numbers off the board
call the souls of war
enough strength to fall away
widdowes learning fright
willows burning in the night
arrows carved into me
soul food for the hounds
abnegation ran from here
narrow is the road
decrements to a path of prayers
leave my bloody body
eternally here for deaths hands
around the fire you're running 'round
violent love makes no sound
ever more burning away
what has been is no more
heaven opens again to me
accompanist comes forth
tape worm burrows out
illusions disappearing
sight is once more mine
abacus on two
leaving me without you
octopus wraps tentacles 'round me
nevermore to turn around without finding that
electric hearts light the sky away
2.Age Old
I met an old king yesterday
he was standing on the mountain side
and though he wore peasants clothes
his royalty he could not hide
nor his grief
staring at the stars
his old hand pointing out the brightest by far
he told me of the skys secrets
and he says the stars lead to Jesus
another king？
and he crys as he says
I have wisdom but it matters not
for my children do not believe my words
I have wealth but it matters not
for it's not enough to buy their love
and he whispers
my children do not love me
as we sit and watch the sun fall
he asks of my knowledge
he says he's felt the pain of a fallen castle wall
he clames sorrow is wisdom's college
as I listen to his words of tears
he quietly confirms my fear
that no matter how you run and scream
terror is never just a dream
I have wisdom, but it matters not
for my children do not believe my words
I have wealth but it matters not
for it's not enough to buy their love
and he whispers
my children do not love me
I'm the only one who listens to his words,
am I the only one to listen to his words？
3.Ball And Chain
ball and chain ball and chain
have you ever gotten your butt whipped
did you ever go to prison
have you ever had your pride ripped
just 'cause no one would listen
I've paid
for something of which I know nothing
they hate me, they hate me
they hate me even more now,
now that they know I'm right
ball and chain ball and chain
here I am, you've got a gun
pulled the trigger killed someone
here I lay, you've made me pay
I'm spitting blood, confessions on my lips like a flood
have you ever felt a pain so great
you run to church but it's to late
the doors are locked
you pray before a window
crying out to Jesus
and you're on the floor
and you they ignore
ball and chain ball and chain
who's your ball and chain
what's your ball and chain
are you as able to cane
some things do not fane
I am laughing in the rain, these people they think that I'm
insane
ball and chain, ball and chain
4.Black Blood
forever I am alone in my sin
won't you admit you're there with me
till never I'll fly through a sand storm
won't you chain yourself to satan's nightmares
to set me free
I searched for death 'till I found day
I saw my self and ran away
to the forest that held even the shadow of the sun
and they hold the lie that was to dark to be spoken
and if truth is only real if your frame of mind allows
then the forest was in me as were the tears
don't run away
you'll run to reality
where it's to bright to see...
my dying soul,lost and forgotten for all eternity
and bleeding over my eyes
as I sit I reflect on how you seemed so upset
by the strange ways of mine
and you melt in the rain
and dry in the sun, so dry that you're tasteless now
hold on to what you are and what you were
when you were innocent you were ignorant
to the sin and what you would be,
to see through a child's eyes the truths of another world
and a dead time, now the clock doesn't turn
but you've aged to the old
to the dying to the lame
don't run away, you'll run to reality
where it's to bright to see...
my dying soul, lossed and forgotten
for eternal recompense
and bleeding black blood
5.Body Glitter
I don't need your acusations
second rate abomination
your heart is degenerating
your 'love mix' needs new combination
with the fire of love
burns the flames of hate
capable of opposites
never knowing which
you're going to get
today, to bury, to die
and what's your body glitter？
you need a stoned sitter
you hate only New York litter
and what's your body glitter？
canned peaches and my brain
is not my own
I sing the puppets song of being free
controlled by a string
with an acters voice
never talking 'bout
subject choice
despair in sing song voice
wooden whipping boy
knock on wood
knock on me
and what's your body glitter？
you need a stoned sitter
you hate only New York litter
and what's your body glitter？
6.Cling
The world is a dark and scary place
the world has a way of destroying my face
the world's a very dark and scary place
and it hurts sometimes
and it kills sometimes
you were on your knees
and I gave you a gift
you clung to it
you bled with it
you fed off it
and now you're dead, buried with it
crying crying crying
that the world is a dark and scary place
that the world has the knack for destroying a face
how you think the world's such a deadly darkening place
and it hurts sometimes
and it kills sometimes
I know you're cold
you know I'm warm
but you're to dumb
you know you want to come
though the space between us is a slum
you say, ya say, you say, ya say
you feel you want to come
crying crying crying
the world's a dark and scary place
the world has a way of destroying your face
the world is a sharks bait to take
and it hurts sometimes
and it kills sometimes
you were on your knees
and I gave you a gift
you clung to it
you bled with it
you fed off it
and now you're dead, buried with it
so you're crying crying crying
that it hurts sometimes
that it kills sometimes
crying crying crying
don't leave, don't leave
7.Curtens
well I went out
in the dead of night; saw you
no one would know
that the liquid you drink will kill you
for the sake of your heart
just for the sake of man
when you step in front of a moving car
that makes you drunk
and everyone knows now
you're officially sunk
well it's curtens for you
yeah, tear down the curtens
let the light flow in
well it's curtens for you
I love to judge people
color takes a point away
you're negative for being gay
and you never thought it would come to this,
but it did
when you fail you're a punk
you're officially sunk
well it's curtens for you
yeah, it's curtens for you
tear them down
let the light flow in
it's curtens
8.Diary
I was there when she was writing
I felt her pen on paper
there to stay there to pay
I saw her writing me again
my brain is bleeding
my eyes are melting to my heart
she places the end just before the start
'to lay and die' she thinks to my ears
I can hear her heart and feel her pain
I understand but, can do nothing
a diary is me, a diary can't scream out her name
why is it that I'm the only one who knows
can't they hear her tears hit the floor
why is my mouth locked like a prison door
I wish I could tell someone
I kiss her swollen lips, and blood-she can't bight her
tongue-swallow
her words
touch her blue face, touch her scarred back
and ripped down pride, broken side, ripped out hair, hide her
tears
and lie
she knows of acid trips and clouds
of rape and placenta
placid eyes can't hide her fears from me
she says it all and I listen, and I hear her hearts call
for help a birds fall
deadly games, the loser goes away for ever, till never and I
come
why is it that I'm the only one who knows
can't they hear her tears hit the floor
why is my mouth hers to quiet
I wish I could tell someone
you can't hear her tears fall,
you can't hear her hearts call,
and when it comes. all in all, you won't hear her hearts beat
9.Die At The Wheel
liquid dripping
morals slipping
did you ever know
that the dark could hold
your brightest day
well guess what
yeah
so hold me tight
so love me true
lived my life to this point
to be killed by you
all you can say's
you never knew
well I had an idea about this
just don't ask me
to explain it
I couldn't say
love kills day
we've gone astray
hold me to the right path
hold her too
we can't make it without you
no brain's died
it's too damn hard
can't remember
which is our car
gonna die at the wheel, can't see or feel
10.Falling With Wings
two forms
you have a hard time seeing
move
to
eachother
would heavens light shine down
would a voice protect them
only once that they hold to each other
do they see the sea
of hurt, the waves of pain
the ship of confusion sinking them down
so you were there, so was I
do you hold the hand of protection
do you hold the hand of hate
do you hold the hand of one
who would blacken the sun
for you, for him, not to see the sin
and not to see, what love could never do
well this is the story
can I say
we have one hurt, one pain, one need, we are the same
one lust, one sin, one life to live,
one mind, one sign, I feel we've run out of time
one light, one way, and we would die to hear Him say
that He's leading us to something more
you must have grown
you must have aged
you must have loved
you must own rage
you must have kissed the lips of not knowing
you must have known that the hard way was not the lighted path
to learn
you must have known
I would kiss you and hold you down to
keep you from the smoke that kills so well
I would protect you
I would fight
I would hold you and never let you go again
and we would love and we would hate
we would close our eyes
and step off the mountain
to clouds that don't hold rain
to heavens that don't hold clouds
and we would fall and not wish to fly
if I must leave you now
the goodbye would last forever
till love ends
till I can allow hate to begin
but would the one that created me and you
destroy us now
I never knew
would love continue
11.Lapse
I know my frown looks like a smile
and the sobbing seems like laughter
you thought the tears were blood
my private pain a flood
she's your way she's your way
my bones they look like flesh
my veins they look like blood
and my mouth it feels so dirty
my hands are warm though you left me cold
she's your way she's your way
I know I look like scum
and you know I feel like mud
but to who？ maybe you
she's your way, she's a lapse
she's a lapse
I know I'm lower than you
so how do I look, down your nose
your hatred grows as only the hated knows
how do I look to you now that there's a knife in between you
toes
the blade grows as only the cut knows
she's your way she's your way
I'll never let you forget that she's only your way
though you throw me to the fire
you're gonna run into something
maybe me
falling off your feet
always looking at me down your nose
the rooster crows as only the morning knows,
and do you know？
12.One Man
have you hurt a thousand times
died a thousand deaths
wonder what love is
lose your breath
he was one man, one man
is the parent's moral also the child's
under age mother and a dead brother
with a second and third but no first...
child
he was one man, one man
one man alone with millions
one man with one truth
one man with love for all men
love for one God
one man of faith
he was one man, one man
13.Pedaphile
you ask me in the dark
if I can see the way
I tell you in the light
it's all just shades of gray
( rap )
you ask me hold you tight
to hold you through the night
when the sun is coming 'round
you'll look but I won't be found
you'll reach but you won't grab
you need something to stab
you draw the blood from ( out of ) me
I'll bleed but my blood won't creep
I'll be your poison apple
I'll be your secret love
I'll hold you from reality
I'll be your black dove
I'll keep you safe from thinking
I'll keep you for another
'till you awaken from your dream
of us falling for each other
( rap )
clouds lift from your head
they fall to what I've said
walking, walking down the isle
kissed by a pedaphile
I held your ( young ) body in my hands
you ran away like grains of sand
I left your memory there to die
and I say 'nothing more than you am I'
( solo )
don't run away
I'd destroy myself for you
don't tell yourself lies
when you know I'll hear them too
together it was to right to be right
fire's all around
I hand you my pain and hurt
you never made a sound
you were but a child
loving me？
love was for me
love is for thee,
her small feet in the dirt;
love will make the night bright
for you and yours
and when my blood spills,
hide your face
from my dark shores
oh, he's a pedaphile
oh, he's a pedaphile
they'll say
he's a pedaphile
14.Razor Blade Licks
When the sun blooms
when the stars outshine the moon
that's when I'm with you.
When the pieces fall back into place
when nothing but despair glows off your face
that's when we are split in two
razor blade tongue
bleeding licks
scabbing mouth
deadly eyes and chicks
she shaves her legs
for me to touch
her body's next to mine
she dresses in the most pulling manner
lays down in the grass
I fall in behind
hold her close to me and she's cold as steel
her eyes are darts her tongue a knife
dying in pleasure with her razor blade licks
razor blade tongue
bleeding licks
scabbing mouth
deadly eyes and chicks
lay it down, turn around
and she's still there
kiss her lips, her mouth's a battle ship
holding her forever I wouldn't let go
even dead.
her clothes, not stronger than my hands
my soul, not stronger than my heart
her skin is pale, and I am white
I give in so easily as she slices through my eyes.
razor blade tongue
bleeding licks
scabbing mouth
deadly eyes and chicks
when the night is over
when the trust is gone
we laid in black roses we thought red.
fire, fire cutting through the night
we were souls in flight
dropped far from sight
fell from heaven's golden door
now everything seems for hell
blood from our dead wells
your spiderweb curtens
know where we are,
I can't return to joy with you
we cannot run away
where we hate is where we'll stay (together forever)
razor blade tongue
bleeding licks
scabbing mouth
deadly eyes still cry
and chicks
15.Skaterism
here he comes with his long hair
he sags I think he doesn't care
he wears his skateboard in his hand
eyes of fire heart of stone
he learned to olly on his own
16.Strength
mamma, she cries murder
sister, she cries fear
brother, he cries anger
but darling, I cry tears
let her live but let him die and his blood will wash away her
eyes
she deserves to see what life would be like without his hands
lifting feathers from her back
well I'd sure hate to see you alone
what would I do without you
I'd sure hate to lose you, now that you've gone away
mamma, she cries rape
brother thinks it's too late
sister says she's dead
and darling I need strength
they want love
they want love
they want love
they want love
all I need is strength
and when I'm weak
who do I have to thank？
17.Unrelated
we go party, graduated
drive the back roads, all unrelated
petle to metal, iron plated
we are driving without care
we pass everyone with the wind in our hair
wearing sun glasses at midnight
hit a car, jumped a curb, and in mid flight
thinking what a way to end the night
party man drinking beer
staring down guns without fear
people stare but don't care
we get naked and go swimming
date some women ain't good looking
stare into their eyes captivated
explore their bodys, unrelated
she's infected, passed it on
so he lays down in his back lawn
caughing blood, can't breathe
closes his eyes, goes to sleep
never awakens, burns for eternity
we live for now never thinking
that our death is what we're drinking
hell's low hell's low hell's low hell's low
unrelated
sedated
isolated
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